Signs You're On a Bad First Date

* It's so early, you don't have to change your alarm from the work week.
* The intended location: Starbucks. The actual location: a bench. in a food court. that isn't even open yet.
* At minute 37 the date declares that it's "about time to head back to our cars." Immediately following that declaration, the date announces he doesn't "like to talk for hours on a first date."
* It hasn't lasted long enough to finish a venti Americano.
* The drive home lasts as long as the date.
* Sometime between leaving the food court & getting home, the date has already e-mailed you.
* Not one joke is even attempted.