The Music of the Night

Last night's theme of American Idol was "Andrew Lloyd Webber". Or as I refer to it, "Let's sing some of the greatest, most emotionally packed songs ever written" night. There is a special place in my heart for ALW squeezed between salad dressing and the Bronte sister novels: things that were good the first time you encountered them but that I've grown to love the more and more I'm exposed to them.

The one reason I highly enjoy ALW is because he is the creative genius behind The Best Musical of All Time: The Phantom of the Opera. If you have never experienced The Phantom live and in person, you are missing out on a highlight of your life. I don't care if you hate "the arts" or if you've never been to a Broadway play, I promise you that it is impossible to walk away from this beautiful, action-packed, tense, thriller of an evening. I've been lucky enough to see Phantom 3 times. The first was in middle school. . .

My best friends were twins, Jennifer and Jessica, and their mom scored tickets to Phantom and somehow I was invited along. I remember wearing what would be considered a "Sunday best" dress and being so excited because I was heading off to that huge, thriving metropolis far, far away: Portland. Downtown is like a whole other world when you're a kid. The buildings are taller. There are more people out walking and everyone is all dressed up. We ate dinner at that huge restaurant on the corner of the waterfront (the name is escaping me right now. Note to self to do a Google check later.) You know, the one that's right across from the floating restaurant formally known as Newport Bay? We sat at a huge round table and you will never believe what was waiting for us on the table: cloth napkins! Cloth! As a middle schooler, how many times have you been to a restaurant with cloth napkins? Almost never! But it got even better. I was given the green light by my hostess to order my first Shirley Temple. A Shirley Temple! You mean like that little girl in the movie "Heidi"? I don't even know what's in it, but yeah, sign me up! What's that you say? It comes with a cherry in it? This is the greatest night EVER!

Civic Auditorium was, in keeping with the theme of the night, huge. Look at all the pretty people. They must all meet here and then disperse throughout the city. Now, being less than 13 years old, I had no clue what the story was about, what the songs sounded like or that this wasn't really an opera but instead was a play with the word "Opera" in the title with people singing opera in it. If you've never heard the opening song of Phantom, don't. Let the first time you hear it be when you are sitting in your seat because when it starts, your seat will start to move with the first note. It's the most haunting one note you've ever heard (which means the piano player has most of his fingers on the black keys.)

I tried really hard to follow the plot line and although I'm sure I missed out on a lot, I did get the gist of it. (Kind of like if I was to pick up and read a Shakespeare play right now.) There's a pretty girl. And a handsome guy. And a ghost guy. Pretty Girl and Handsome Guy are in love but Ghost Guy loves Pretty Girl and wants her all to himself. Oh, and there's 2 old, funny Parisian guys that run the place and a diva who thinks that she runs the place. I fell for the Ghost Guy because I felt so sorry for him. It wasn't his fault he was disfigured. It wasn't his fault he was a better singer than anyone actually working at the opera house. It wasn't his fault he fell in love with Pretty Girl. I kept wanting Pretty Girl to stay with him. Handsome Guy just seemed so typical. Plus, he Parisian which automatically means he's skinnier than her, smokes and isn't showering everyday. So I was squarely in The Phantom's court.

But Laura, he killed people to show how serious he was.
Yeah, but he could sing!

But Laura, he kidnapped her.
Yeah, but he could play the piano!

But Laura, he held her hostage down in his lair beneath the Paris Opera house.
Yeah, but he could sing to her!

But Laura, he made her choose between her and Handsome Guy’s life.
Hello! Did you not hear me before? He could serenade her while playing an instrument!

OK, so I’m a sucker for this stuff. I may have an excess of a gene. Since my love-for-the-TV-show-CSI gene does not exist perhaps it mutated to an extra sucker-for-sappiness gene. But really, who doesn’t want to be awakened by pebbles being thrown at their window. Heck, even if you have no musical ability whatsoever, pick up some batteries, throw them in your boom box and just hold it up above your head a la John Cusak.

But please, there’s no need to drag me into the sewer afterward.