Sign of the times

I received an annoucement today in my school e-mail that next week during class there will be a campus-wide "Active Shooter drill". To make sure the teachers are doing what they're supposed to do (repeating a memorized script that herds all students away from the door & making sure we are on the ground and then putting all possible loose furniture in front front of the door & locking it) security will be making random checks 3 minutes after the buzzer goes off. If security is able to get in - the teacher is in some seriously hot, scorching water.

Hey, way to scare the crap out me for absolutely no reason at all. Do they not realize I'm housesitting by myself? I'm on edge already!

Personally, I'll take my chances with the tornados, Russians and whatever they're dropping on me or an earthquake, or fires, or a bomb from that other deranged & mentally unstable student (geez, how many things could possibly go wrong at school?! How many drills is it possible to have? It's enough to make a person scared to go to school. It's clearly a hazaard to my health - or life!)

What's next? I can't wait for the leprechaun invasion drill (quick - step on them as fast as you can) or the famous person is visiting drill (black permanent pen at the ready!) or better still, dinosaurs have come back to life and want to eat you drill. OK, you're pretty much screwed there. . .except for T-Rex. Just stay still whatever you do. They have really bad eyesight. Trust me on this one. I've seen Jurassic Park like 2000 times. And that thing is totally based on scientific fact. I know because I read Jurassic Park, the novel. Michael Crichton would never mislead me. He's an executive producer of the show ER, so he's all about getting medical details exactly right.