The Road Less Traveled

Sugarless Day #. . .whatever

2009-03-09T14:21:00.000-07:00

So is it weird to say that this no sugar thing is not very hard? Do you why? Because everything has sugar substitute in it!!! I got myself (or more accurately my mom got) some organic raisin bran a la Costco and I don't even need to add Splenda. It comes naturally sweetened!

There are 2 things I really, really miss though:

1. Hazelnut coffee creamer. Milk just doesn't cut it. Half and half is boring. I get to stare at that glorious yellow bottle each time I open the fridge because it's always in the front and always at eye level. A constant reminder that Easter is too far away. . .

2. Fiber One Bars, or "fart bars" as they're called in our house. They're the chocolate chip kind, not the peanut kind that really put your bowels into working overtime. I've come to rely on them for breakfast most days (yes, I know it's the most important meal of the day, but I also know sleeping 8 hours a night is important and neither are possible while I'm school. Just give me until December 21st, ok?) and they are the best on-the-go snacks. I have no on-the-go snacks now. Cheetos aren't great, shelled peanuts are too messy and I've developed a gag reflex to cheesesticks because I'm been cramming those down my pie hole since Ash Wednesday rolled around.

Breakfast has become an alternation between oatmeal (with raisins & splenda. . .brown sugar not allowed) and egg beaters. Boooooring!

Oh, I did have a rather difficult evening last Friday when trying out a new restaurant that I won't endorse but tell you it's where the old Chili's was. Dessert was complimentary and as I watch T.L.O.M.L. (refer to October 2008 posts if this acronym confuses you) and mis padres consume cookies and some kind of volcanic chocolate explosion. I don't remember the name because I think I've blocked it out. Too traumatic. I headed for the restrooms instead. Good thing I did because I feel in love with their faucets and want them in my house!

Sugarless Day #2

2009-02-26T08:48:00.000-08:00

Breakfast was a struggle!!!! Did you know there are NO cereals that don't have sugar in them??? Of course, I'm going for refined sugar, but still. . .even Fiber One, seemingly the healthiest one out there (or at least the one who most promises to clean out your bowels) has sugar as its #2 ingredient. I settled on Raisin Bran which had sugar listed further down the list than any other cereal. And then I piled raisins on there because they're SO sweet but NO sugar! They're oh-nat-ur-al.

Lost 2 pounds from yesterday! Well, if this continues, I will cease to exist by Easter! Does it really make that big of a difference? Could be the massive quantities of water that I'm now drinking.

In class I had to pass up Oreos and Oreo balls - the biggest winner from our class' bake sale several weeks back. Oh man. . .that was not fun. I actually sat on my hands and told the girl passing them out to get out of my peripheral vision! :D

The rest of the day wasn't too bad as I was at school or the Memorial Coliseum watching Jon's kids at Wrestling State. I did have a sip or two of Glucose which was pretty good. And since Glucose is already in my body, it was totally OK to drink. Although I was a little nervous about tasting it because I had a horrible experience the first time I drank Glucose during the Eugene Marathon: they didn't dilute it properly and I spent the next 2 miles trying not to throw it up.

Tonight I ate about 8 cuties - you know, those mini-oranges. That wasn't the greatest idea because of the whole being allergic to citric fruit thing, but the need for sweet was so great that I just started eating and couldn't stop. I couldn't even have hot chocolate and it was snowing out for pete's sake!!! It's a cruel, cruel world. Oh wait. I did this to myself. Never mind.

40 Sugarless Days

2009-02-25T08:44:00.000-08:00

Well, that time is upon is: good ol' Lent. Looks like I'll be saying good-bye to refined sugar for a little over a month. I believe this is the 3rd year and hopefully it will be easier the third time around.

Here are my observations from Day #1:

*Woke up this morning and saw a Coffee Rio wrapper on the kitchen counter. That's just mean!

*Had to actually eat breakfast and not just rely on good ol' Fiber One Bars.

*Coffee sucks - at least at home. No more Hazelnut creamer. Straight up 1% milk instead. . .note to self: get half and half at store! At least I still have my Splenda!!!!

*Over at Jon's, I actually reached out and grabbed a homemade Valentine's Day cookie only before realizing I wasn't allowed to have anymore this year.

The Worst Commercial In The World

2009-02-13T08:04:00.001-08:00

seriously. . .I don't ever think I've seen anything more ridiculous. This even tops the Snuggie.

I LOVE stuff like this

2009-01-27T10:04:00.000-08:00

Husband's kiss woke 'sleeping beauty wife' in coma after heart attack

By Vanessa Allen
Last updated at 1:13 AM on 26th January 2009

After two weeks sitting by his wife's bedside hoping she would wake from a coma, Andrew Ray was at his wits' end.

Doctors had told him Emma could become a real-life sleeping beauty when she failed to regain consciousness after a heart attack.

The distraught father of two played her tapes of their baby son crying and their daughter shouting 'wake up Mummy!'.

Finally, in desperation, he leant over her hospital bed and pleaded: 'Emma, if you can hear me, please just give me a kiss.'

Kiss of life: Andrew woke his 'sleeping beauty' wife Emma from her coma with a kiss

'What happened next was beyond my wildest dreams,' he said. 'She turned her head towards mine, puckered up her lips and gave me a little kiss.

'I couldn't believe it. My heart felt like it was going to leap from my chest - it suddenly felt like a huge weight had been lifted.'

The kiss was witnessed by doctors who were astonished by the 34-year-old's sudden response.

Mrs Ray had suffered the heart attack just ten days after giving birth to her son.

Her horrified husband had to give her mouth-to-mouth after she collapsed while they were out shopping. She was taken to hospital where doctors were able to restart her heart but warned she could remain in a coma indefinitely.

Mr Ray said a doctor told him: 'She could wake up the following day, she could wake up in a month, or you may be left with a sleeping beauty.'

The IT consultant from Telford, Shropshire, tried to rouse his wife by playing recordings of their baby son Alexander and toddler Ella.

He said: 'I would play Emma the sounds of Alexander crying and gurgling, Ella singing and shouting "Wake up Mummy!".

'I even played her recordings of the songs we had danced to during our wedding.

'I would speak softly to her, clasp her hand, pinch her fingers, all the time telling her I loved her or begging her to wake up. By the time I asked her to kiss me I was approaching my wits' end.'

The happy couple embrace on their wedding day in 2000

However, the kiss was just the start of an agonising battle for Mrs Ray, who continued to drift in and out of consciousness.

Her brain had been starved of oxygen when her heart stopped beating and the resulting injury left her with short-term memory loss.

Mrs Ray was transferred from the Royal Shrewsbury Hospital to a specialist brain injury rehabilitation unit at the Hayward Hospital in Stoke-on-Trent.

She was eventually allowed home but now - almost two years later - the former IT consultant still needs ongoing rehabilitation for the brain damage she suffered.

Doctors believe her heart attack may have been caused by a blood clot after her son Alexander, now two, was delivered by Caesarean section.

She had been to see a GP the night before her cardiac arrest, complaining of palpitations, but was told it was probably down to a minor infection.

Mrs Ray said: 'The recovery is awful because I have so little memory.

'I would wish above all else to be well, to walk unaided and to have my memory back.

'I would love to remember what I've done each day. Andrew helps me to do everything. Without him I don't know how I'd cope.'

Mr Ray said he was just grateful his wife had survived. He said: 'She can walk quite well holding hands now, and at least our kids still have a mother and I still have a wife.'

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1127393/Husbands-kiss-woke-sleeping-beauty-wife-coma-heart-attack.html#

The Kelty Estate

2009-01-18T19:34:00.001-08:00

It's so stinkin' cute. . .I can hardly stand it!!!

The backyard - where the ceremony is going down. Just picture me in a pretty white dress instead of a black puffy jacket. (And doesn't the lamp post remind you of Narnia? Love it!)

The Best Christmas Gift Ever

2008-12-25T08:01:00.001-08:00

Christmas Song Countdown

2008-12-17T17:00:00.000-08:00

I don't know about you, but this time of year when I hear "The Christmas Song" or "Jingle Bells" or "Rudolph", I immediately change the station. There are some songs that I am just sick of after hearing them once and there's so many versions of each song but somehow they all sound the same. Don't get me wrong, I love "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas", so don't go thinking I'm a scrooge but I'm definitely a fan of the more non-traditional Christmas songs. Here are my top 11. (yes, 11) You can click on the title of the songs to be transported to YouTube and listen to the Top 11:

11. Breath of Heaven, Amy Grant: A slow, beautiful, even haunting song from Mary's point of view. I don't think anyone really knows or can fathom what it would be like to carry God's son as a teenager and have the rest of the world think you're just knocked up. There would be a stigma about it today when lots of things are now permissible by most of the world's standards, so think about what it would be like 2000 years ago. Glad it wasn't me.
Favorite lyric: "In a world as cold as stone/Must I walk this path alone?/Be with me now."

10. Where Are You Christmas, Faith Hill: Another slow one from another female artist. It's the big musical number from the live-action flick, The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, AKA, the dumb version - not the cartoon version you grew up on and love. I don't really know the words, but the chorus is great to sing out loud in my car when I'm all alone or riding with someone I don't particularly care for and therefore don't mind annoying them. I'm trying to think when that's ever happened though. . .
Favorite lyric: "I feel you Christmas/I know I've found you/You never fade away."

9. The Chimney Song, Bob Rivers: Years can go by and I don't even get to hear this song. And those my friend, are depressing years. Probably sung by the same kid that sings "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." A very cute little ditty about an obese Santa stuck in one chimney for the entire year without the family figuring it out!
Favorite lyric: "I'll be waiting up for Santa like I did last year/But my brother says 'he's already here.'"

8. Linus & Lucy, Vince Guaraldi: theme song of the Peanuts gang featured in "A Charlie Brown Christmas." I love anything and everything about that movie. If it was made this year, I'm sure TV networks wouldn't have the cajones to air it. But they did back in the 60s and it's now an annual showing in my life. Who doesn't just melt listening to Linus' infamous speech beginning with the right mood: "Lights please. . ." He just rattles off scripture and simply states, "And that's what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown." Tru dat Linus. Preach it brother!
Favorite lyric: the beginning because it's so recognizable. "don don don. don don don. daaaaaa don. daaaa. don don."

7. Christmas in the Northwest, Brenda White: I'm a Tigard native so I'm going to love any song proclaiming this is the best place for a kid to be at this time of the year. If it catches me in the right mood, I may even shed a tear during the playing of this one.
Favorite lyric: "Christmas in the northwest/Is a child's answered prayer."

6. When My Heart Finds Christmas, Harry Connick, Jr.: I'm not sure if HCJ can do any wrong in my book. (OK, co-starring in PS I Love You was a mistake.) But I'm especially fond of this song since it's on my favorite Christmas CD that I bought in Greece in December 2000. This one gets bonus points for the "sing out loud in your car" factor.
Favorite lyric: "My heart told me once before/to find my dream and serach no more."

5. Christmas Wrapping, The Waitresses: We now find ourselves in the 80s. Great decade. Great song. I basically don't know any of the words except the chorus but my body must move while it's playing and I like the trumpets in the background. When you find yourself stuck in a standstill in holiday traffic, there's no better song to pull you out of your funk and keep your mouth busy so you don't yell at other drivers who can't drive - which is everyone by the way.
Favorite lyric: "So deck those halls, trim those trees/Raise up cups of Christmas cheer."

4. Anything by Raffi: Let's stay in the 80s and get nostalgic for a sec, shall we? I grew up dancing and singing with my sister to Raffi after dinner for. . .oh, I don't even know how many years growing up. Years. . .so, of course, I'm going to love Raffi's Christmas album. I couldn't pick one of his songs so I threw the whole thing up here. These are timeless. Seriously, they're awesome.
Favorite lyric: "Snows are a-fallin' on Douglas Mountain/Puttin' all the bears to sleep."

3. We Need a Little Christmas, Johnny Mathis: This is about the peppiest song I know of (Christmas or otherwise). Again, major points for being fun to sing at the top of your lungs with. And it's short. And it has jingle bells. Plus it just picks your spirit up if you're feeling down so you say to yourself, "You right Johnny. I DO need a little Christmas right now!"
Favorite lyric: "and we need a little snappy happy ever after/we need a little Christmas now"

2. Same Old Lang Syne, Dan Folgelberg: Why do I feel like you may be groaning or totally disagreeing with me right now? So I like this slightly depressing, storytelling song. Sue me! I like that it is descriptive, tells a story about two people and their honesty of their lives that they're not too happy with. And in the end, even the snow turns into rain. Do you know what this means? Event the weather is depressing in this song! But like Forest Gump, hope is the theme when the main character is surrounded by heart break and loss. The poor guy can't catch a break and he just drank a six-pack with his ex in his car! Glad it's just a song. . .
Favorite lyric: "She went to hug me and she spilled her purse/And we laughed until we cried."

1. Celebrate Me Home, Kenny Loggins: The Christmas season does not start for me until I hear this song on the radio. I love Kenny Loggins (80s!) and I love this song. I love the theme of "home" in songs. I love that I first knew this song from Fred Meyer holiday ads back in the day. I love the repetitive, never-ending ending. I love the piano. I love how the song builds and gain momentum. Isn't this what everyone really wants to tell their family when they go back home: "hey, people! Celebrate the fact that I'm here! I'm here and want to play a little ditty for you to remember when we all leave." Great stuff!!!
Favorite lyric: "Please, celebrate me home/Gimme a number please/Celebrate me home."

Stockings at the Smalls

2008-12-15T17:37:00.000-08:00

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that Saint Nicholas soon would be there.

Happiness is. . .

2008-12-14T09:34:00.000-08:00

the simple things like watching It's A Wonderful Life and waiting for snow.

The Best Clinical Group Ever Celebrates 213 Being Over!

2008-12-09T00:04:00.001-08:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

What is love?

2008-12-08T16:28:00.000-08:00

Because we all need a little reminder every now and again. Curious as to how you're doing? Just substitute your name at the beginning of each phrase.

Love is patient
Love is kind
It does not envy
It does not boast
It is not proud
It is not rude
It is not self-seeking
It is not easily angered
It keeps no record of wrongs
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Come on people! Hop on board!

2008-11-29T21:45:00.000-08:00

Laura's 2008 Thankful List

2008-11-29T02:21:00.000-08:00

I am thankful. . .

. . .for the profession of nursing, that I beat some serious odds to get into school, for three amazing new friends who I love and that I will never, ever have to take another class with Ed Degrauw for the rest of my life. Ever.
. . .for "baby" Henry being the bright spot in my day, constantly lowering my stress level & blood pressure and for his ability to "talk" constantly.
. . .for the Crack Team of Rejects letting me leave Nike on a high note, for being normal 7 hystericaly funny and talking to me more than all my other departments combined.
. . .for the little things in life that keep me happy: Starbucks, DVR, blinking yellow left turn arrows, coffee, hazelnut creamer, reliable alarm clocks, precious Treehouse kids, Americanos, free movies & CD's from the library, sub-5 hour marathons, fridges that seem to refill themselves with pop, Splenda, Jim Halpert, friends who get better as time marches on & free Nike swag.
. . .that Lindsay's own prophetic statement on January 1st declaing 2008 "the year of love" came true for her and for giving me an awesome future brother-in-law. Who else can I talk about anti-psychotic meds with?
. . .for an extremely fun 10-year high school reunion that surpassed all my expectations by making me feel like only days have passed since graduation.
. . .for my amazing family: a mom and dad who daily continue to up the parenting bar with love and sacrifice the world has never seen, a sister who is guaranteed to make me laugh - especially when she doesn't mean to, 4 spirited grandparents who continue to amaze me in all they do, a fun-filled weekend in the San Juans when our family officially increased by two and the new family I've found in the Smalls who have made me feel like family since day one.
. . .for Jonathan Ian Small. I'm thankful for the greatest friend in the world who got me safely up - and down - Mt. Hood and that God brought the man of my dreams into my reality.
. . .for the best year of my life!!!

What if Starbucks marketed like the church?

2008-11-26T13:25:00.000-08:00

12:30am - 8:30am

2008-11-23T14:45:00.000-08:00

Ahhhhhhh. So that's what 8 hours of sleep feels like.

JOY

2008-11-22T11:51:00.000-08:00

–noun

1.	the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying; keen pleasure; elation

2.	a source or cause of keen pleasure or delight; something or someone greatly valued or appreciated

3.	the expression or display of glad feeling; festive gaiety.

4.	a state of happiness or felicity.

–verb (used without object)

5.	to feel joy; be glad; rejoice.

Please use it in a sentence:
There is much joy in Laura's heart because she is on vacation for the first time in 6 months and there is much to be thankful for this year.

Joy is INSIDE you. Not in attainment of things desired, nor in the achievement of goals made, but in the simple feeling that lies within you. Know that this JOY is unaffected by outer circumstance, and joy will be yours forever.

Quote of the day

2008-10-26T09:56:00.001-07:00

"I'm just a knucklehead who scored a chick."
- Jon Small

2 Less Fish in the Sea

2008-10-15T13:47:00.000-07:00

"I'm about to burst with song; I can't keep quiet about you. God, my God, I can't thank you enough."

Psalm 30:12

I've got great news: I finally get health insurance next year!!!

I'm sorry, maybe you don't understand my excitement, so let me explain. Since graduating from Linfield 6 years ago, I have never had normal health insurance provided by an employer, nor have I had a paid sick day. that means I have to purchase emergency insurance every six months that has a $5 million deductible and is so limited it basically only covers me if I get hit head on by an ice cream truck on a Tuesday.

OK, maybe this needs more explanation. I am going to be getting health coverage because

I'M GETTING MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I've been dating the love of my life (TLOML) for the past 6 months and on Sunday we got engaged. Here's how it went down. My family rented a cabin at Black Butte for a long weekend because we've gone there every year for the past 20 years or so and it's basically the greatest place on earth. . .or at least in the US. . .ok, the continental US. . .bottom line, it means a lot to me. We drove up Friday afternoon where it snowed in the pass.

Friday we climbed to the top of Black Butte and even got to climb the US Forest Service watchtower (which has a "no public access" sign which made it even cooler!) Up there we met Scotty, a forest ranger, who was shutting the tower down for the winter. It was 19 degrees outside of the tower, below 0 with the wind chill but inside it felt like 90 degrees (even though the thermometer said it was 33.)

TLOML, me, Linds, Ryan after delayering in the (literately) freezing ranger tower.

It was a long hike just to get up the tower AND there were ice chunks on the stairs.

From the summit: the meadow with Three Sisters mountains in the background.

And then Sunday morning it all went down. . .

We (TLOML and I) decided to walk through the meadow and watch the sunrise. How did I feel about this? totally awesome. He was going to score major bonus points. . .even if I woke up earlier than I have to for school and it was below freezing outside. So we walked through the meadow once & the sun wasn't up. So we walked back, fed & petted some horses.(feeding horses as it gets lighter)

Sun still wasn't up. But the partly cloudy sky was starting to turn from pink to orange to yellow. I'm now absolutely freezing but still highly enjoying myself as we just stand and hug and sway. (Girls: think of the end of Pride & Prejudice and you will get an exact replica of the scene!)

And ACTION!

Jon: so you had a pretty good weekend, huh?
Laura: yeah I did!
Jon: what did you like about it?
Laura: well, I'm pumped we rode our bikes, climbed Black Butte, danced in the moonlight by the lake last night (awesome!) and now we're watching the sunrise in the meadow.
Jon: well, you're going to be even more pumped because your boyfriend is going to ask you to marry him.

CUT!

It's at this point that I enter the Twilight Zone and basically freaking out. I could apply nursing school to this situation and diagnose myself with the following: Patient is at risk for humiliation related to marriage proposal, as evidenced by screaming, crying, jumping & incoherent speech. Yes, he got down on one knee to ask. Yes, I said yes. And after several minutes of saying "ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh" and continuous screaming, crying & jumping, Jon was able to hold my hand still for 2 seconds so I could have a ring on my finger.

Stay tuned for an event in early August!

The future Mrs. & Mr. Small. (Be careful what you wish for. .many times I have wished for a simpler last name and now I have it!)

Does Jon know what he's gotten himself into???

$0.65

2008-10-12T15:46:00.000-07:00

That's how much is in my checking account as of this very moment.

Kinda depressing. . .guess I shouldn't have bought that $2 old fashioned, super cute but non-working alarm clock yesterday. I could be rich!

Tuesday Night Lights

2008-10-01T10:55:00.000-07:00

Last week I went to a very intense, highly attended football game where the 2 team colors were green and orange. No, it was not the Civil War (I wish!) but it was a battle of the Podunks. (I really do mean that in a nice way. I love little towns)

Last Tuesday, I had the privilege of attending my very first junior high football game. I'm sure these existed when I was in junior high. . .oops, middle school. . .but frankly, I didn't really care. Plus there's the hassle of not having a car, or a license and cell phones didn't even exist back in that day to call mom and have her pick you up.

I arrived just as halftime started which allowed me to carefully pick my seat in the stadium without missing any of the action. Here's what you look for in a good seat: no junior highers around you. That was my only criteria. I nabbed a bleacher in the row 2nd from the top, which made for excellent people watching.

Here are some of my observations from a small town football game:
*The "cheerleaders" (these would be the girl friends and girlfriends of players) were bigger than the players
*I am trying my best not to pass out from the extreme use of cologne by the junior highers running in front of and next to me.
*Some players have yet to discover the correct running form. It is very popular to run with your arms down at your side. Do they know something I don't? Will this get me farther than the traditional elbows bent at 90 degrees?
*One kid was "shocked" to learn 2 of his friends were "going out" and what was even more shocking was this had been going on "for a whole week!"
*Let's talk about the # of subs on each team. I counted 7 for the home team (who I was cheering for) and "The Poose" (don't even go there - it's short for Scapoose) had at least double. I couldn't get an accurate count though because there was a ton of them.
*Here's an interesting technique that I need to discuss with one of the coaches and whether they work on this in practice or not: if the guy with the ball is bigger than you, and there's no way you are ever going to bring him down by tackle alone, than just grab on to his foot and don't let go. He may drag you for a while, but not for very long.
*Oh, one of the Poose Players snapped his wrist and the ambulance had to come onto the field, so that was pretty sweet to watch.

Ahhhhh. . . .

2008-09-30T23:21:00.000-07:00

I just spent the last hour sitting on my deck, under the stars, listening to someone I like a whole bunch play the guitar & sing. Just cause. Not because I desperately needed to de-stress. Not because he had to impress. Not because it's a ritual. Just cause.

I'm pretty sure this one's making the cut of my life's greatest hits.

And all was right with the world. . . .

Third Times a Charm!

2008-09-28T19:51:00.000-07:00

I saw/heard/read this quote THREE times today, in three completely different settings: a house, a church I visited today, and a book. Being a nonbeliever of coincidences, this leads me to believe I need to learn something from it. I'll let you know what I come up with. I'm sure it will be profound, whatever it is.

"It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blookd, who strives valiantly. . .who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who have never known neither victory nor defeat."

- Teddy Roosevelt

Frustration

2008-09-25T17:22:00.001-07:00

I want to be a nurse, I want to be a nurse. . .

I find myself muttering that phrase over and over lately, constantly reminding myself that school is the means to an end. That there's only 15. . .ok, really 14 months left. That this process is pointing out just how inflexible I am and that I should try harder to enjoy the journey because how many people would kill to be in my spot? (hundreds actually. 800 people applied. 48 of us got in. wow. i just got an actual jolt of motivation writing that.)BUT things have been awfully frustrating lately. First, I have my dream rotation: Tigard High School. then on Tuesday it was changed to a charter school in SE Portland. NOW I'm at the Salvation Army. Meanwhile, there are classmates going to other schools who, I'm sure, have no intentions of being a school nurse. AND, I just got 2 papers back today. they were graded by the same person on the same day. Both papers were your basic, 2 pages double spaced of reactions to 2 different videos, so basically the same style of writing. One paper said, excellent job. The other said, "You need to see [Linfield's Director of Academic Advising] for help on all your clinical papers." WHAT? Seriously?! And, I'm wondering, what good is a study guide when all it lists is the section breaks in the chapters that are bolded & underlined already?

At times like this, I like to quote the great philosopher Jimmy Buffet:
"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane."

Can't end a post on a negative note, so let me leave you with a picture of my date (the cutest boy at the event) at our 10-year-high school reunion last weekend. I can't even begin to explain how much freakin' fun was crammed into 8 hours. The reunion post is in my head, but I need to pick my words carefully so that will be coming later.

above: just a couple of MR fishes (check out those senior pictures on our name tags!)

Score!

2008-09-16T19:20:00.000-07:00

It's official! I nabbed Tigard High as one of my clinical sites this semester. Look out 4 corners, senior benches and other new places that didn't exist when I was there! I'm on a mission to rid your institution of learning from soda!!! (and other things that I actually have to do for class. . .)

And here's another reason why I'm so excited: From the front page of Tuesday's Living section of the Oregonian:

http://www.oregonlive.com/kiddo/index.ssf/2008/09/the_nurse_will_not_see_you_now.html

NikeStore Eugene

2008-09-12T16:19:00.000-07:00

HERE IT IS!!!!!!!!!!!!

My first sight of it from the parking lot.

The grand entrance where you are greeted by a ginormous video wall.

Can't find your size or the color you want? Just use NikeFind. "It's so easy!"

This picture is clearly of better quality and clearly taken from the Eugene Register-Guard newspaper.

Design your own shoe while sipping wine.

It's so pretty!!!!

Read all about it.

Too funny

2008-09-07T23:38:00.000-07:00

I laughed out loud when I saw the following pictures for the first time. (At least I'm not the only uber-competitive person in the world.) Here is the play-by-play. . .

Jon sees that the garter has fallen way short of the first row of eligible bachelors and begins to run for it. . .

He only had to dive head first into the dirt to get it. . .(I'm in the back row. 2nd from the left in a green dress & white cardigan doubled over from laughing so hard.)

Success! Now it's time for the bouquet toss. . .
So my thinking is, "He grabbed it, so now I HAVE to snag the bouquet. And if he did a running head dive for that thing, it is perfectly acceptable for myself to throw some elbows or basically do whatever needs to be done in order to snag myself a souvenir." So, like any seasoned potential bouquet-catcher would do. I line myself up behind the bride's spine because no matter how she's angled, that' the direction it's heading. I just have to worry about it falling short or going over my head. . ." (welcome to Patheticville. population: me)

OK, so it went a little over my head and I had to jump for it.

Success! Thank you, thank you.

Seattle or Bust

2008-09-07T22:33:00.000-07:00

Very rarely do I post, "hey, look at what I did this weekend" posts. But this one was too cool to pass up.

The place: Seattle
The occasion: Jon's 28th birthday (yes, that's right, I'm dating a younger man or "robbing the cradle" if you will)
The cost: Priceless. (wait, does that even make sense?)

So here's an embarrassing confession: I've never been to Seattle. I mean, technically I have. I've driven through it a number of times and seen it from I-5. I've also been to the port when we had to leave on our Alaskan cruise. My freshman year of college, we begged our coach to let us have some time at the 3-story Old Navy. but that's it! I've never actually parked, got out of the vehicle and walked around.

So Saturday was a day being a tourist and all my traveling habits kicked back in: tons of people watching, uber-protective of my purse and completely paranoid for pick-pocketers, extremely thrifty with my money, except to splurge on food, and never putting my camera away because you have no clue what's around the corner. . .like a parrot doing a back-spring handstand in the palm of his owner's hand. (seriously)

So, first thing's first. . .

My mothership: enjoying a Venti Americano with room in the original Starbucks!

Above: Half of our breakfast: an apple cinnamon roll. (The other half, a spinach, cheese & egg peroshki was consumed too quickly to get a picture. It was devoured before we got our coffee.) My camera couldn't quite zoom in enough to pick up the drool. And it may have stopped working because my drool got into the innerworkings of the camera. Don't you hate it when that happens???

After debarking, next on the list was right across the street: Pike's Place Market. Flying fish, millions of samples of flavored almonds & hazelnuts, belt buckles, tempting t-shirts for sale that said, "trust me. I'm a nurse." (life rule #492: if you can make it at home with an undershirt and magic market, don't pay $10 plus tax for it.) AND, the most gorgeous flowers I've ever seen:

Seriously. These things are rediculously gorgeous. I'd go broke buying flowers all the time if I lived up here!

And then we come to the main event: the Yankee game. . .oh, whoops, sorry. I mean the Mariners game. I was just slightly confused because there seemed to be more people in NY garb than Seattle garb. And because it actually was Jon's birthday, and because I vowed not to waste money on any greeting cards until after I graduated, I sent him some b-day wishes on the Safeco Field jumbotron (this is also my submission piece for Girlfriend of the Year):

It was pretty sweet seeing his name up there.

Guess I better throw up one of the birthday boy since he was the reason for going up there!

Even though the Mariners lost (but won on Friday and Sunday), the game was a BLAST!
9 innings of baseball can be fun? Who knew???

Meds

2008-08-26T16:51:00.000-07:00

I gave meds to a patient for the first time today. When I left they were still alive & kicking.

woo-hoo!

That alone makes it a great day!

Luck shmuck

2008-08-24T22:50:00.000-07:00

You know how some days you just feel really lucky? Like, overwelmingly lucky? Like, you feel bad for someone else in the world because you have so much luck that some poor person in China is lacking in the luck department right now?

Today is one of those days.

It may or may not have to do with the fact that I am one week from being done with summer term and all that comes with packing 2 semester long classes into 9 weeks.

It may or may not have to do with the fact that I have the best family ever.

It probably has something to do with the fact that I get to spend a majority of my time laughing and being with the most amazing man I've ever met.

And it has everything to do with the grace, (the underserved, unearned favor), that has been given to me from the God of the universe. And when that finally, really and truly sinks in, as it did earlier today, I realize that yes, today is my lucky day.

E.T.*

2008-08-21T16:57:00.000-07:00

Tuesday was my first day in "the real world" as a nursing student. The first patient I assisted with that morning (held her foot during a dressing change for a calf wound so deep, her tendon was visible) passed away later that evening.

Welcome to the world of nursing.

*There are no less than 57 federal laws prohibiting me from using actual patient names so in honor of this patient, I have used their initials for the title of this blog post.

JON'S HOME!!!

2008-08-09T08:45:00.001-07:00

and he brought a beard with him. . . .

Ruby Red

2008-07-27T22:42:00.000-07:00

After quite an awful, stressful, anxious-filled day, God has (blatantly) smiled upon me. . .

Sitting in my dad's office, working away on the 10-year high school reunion, I heard .7 seconds worth of a man humming on the TV out in the living room. I immediately stopped typing. Could it be? This late at night? .5 seconds later I was up off the chair, sliding on the hardwood floors into the next room and yes, there he was on the big screen: Professor Marvel!!!!!

So I am working happily, singing along with my peeps, the munchkins. "but we got to verify it LEgally to see. To see. If she. If she. Is morally, ethically, spiritually, physically, positively, absolutely, undeniably, and reliably dead!"

I love me some ruby red slippers & yellow brick roads in the evening!!!

Just an Ordinary Sunday

2008-07-20T20:26:00.000-07:00

So you know, nothing big happened today,

Taught Treehouse.
Studied
Worked out
Boyfriend struck by lightning while on Costa Rican zip line.

You know, normal Sunday stuff.

6 month update

2008-07-19T14:43:00.000-07:00

OK, so in January I posted my New Years Predictions list (because I hate the word resolutions). So, halfway through the year, how am I doing?

**Run the Portland Marathon in under 4:59:59 OK, so it wasn't the Portland marathon, but I did run 26.2 miles in under 5 hours which might have to be good enough for this year. Not sure if the ol' knee is up for another one in just over 2 months.
**Traveled to a foreign country nope. Does Montana count? haha - kidding Charla. totally kidding.
**Been more girly check and check. have you seen my toes this summer?
**Wed John Krasinski and bore his children, Grace & John I'm dating a Jon. that has to count for something.
**Bought a new golden retriever puppy YES!!!! woo-hoo!
**Been given a free ride to Duke nursing school so, it's not Duke and it's definitely not free but I am in nursing school which is a miracle in itself.
**Had a tan for at least a month YES!!! i know, i know: "tan skin is damaged skin" but come on. it beats the heck out of being pasty white.
**Made for darn sure Hillary Clinton is not my president shoot, I didn't have to do a thing. Thank you America!
**Attended 3 out-of-state weddings (heck, there has to be at least one other person I know that can make this come true) still only on track for 2 out-of-state weddings
**Been early to events (because just being on time isn't good enough) hey, I'm doing better. . .
**Had an actual conversation in Spanish that does not include asking someone where the library is YES!!! prepping Jon for his roadtrip
**Not cried while teaching Treehouse - except if I'm in physical pain YES!!! not that I'm proud of this, but I did actually cry in the Treehouse because I was in physical pain. This was promptly followed by a half hour nap on the floor of Beth's office.
**Stumbled upon buried treasure in my backyard OK, so it's not buried but I consider playing with my puppy in the backyard a definite treasure
**Solved world hunger AND world peace still working on it. haven't given up yet!

Rae Coleman

2008-07-18T16:40:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I worked with my first "patient." Since Linfield Nursing school is so amazing, they have a "simulation lab" (henceforth known as the SimLab) with very expensive dummies that talk. OK, the dummies don't talk but there is a speaker in their mouths where our professors, who are behind the 2-way mirror, speak into a microphone as though they are the patient.

Yesterday, Beth (fellow member of Team Wild Catheters. . .get it? because we're the wildcats?) and I went into our hospital room (SimLab) and found our patient. Ray Coleman - a 34 y/o construction worker who was getting ready for ACL surgery. Our task was to go in and ask Ray a list of pre-op questions that were given to us. So we enter the room and do everything we've been told to do before getting down to business:

wash hands? check.

introduce ourselves in a professional manner? check.

confirm 2 types of I.D on patient? check.

Problem: the birthday listed on Ray's official hospital wristband does not match the birthday Ray told us was his birthday. The cameras pick up the moment my panic stricken face meets Beth's panic stricken face (yes, we are also being video taped by no less that 5 moveable ceiling cameras strategically placed throughout the room while the rest of Team Wild Catheters watch us in the Debriefing Room.) I believe the length of this look could be described as: an eternity. We never said a word but I'm pretty sure my face said, "oh my gosh, what do we do?" and I'm pretty sure Beth's face answered "I have no clue what to do!"

Several things start running through my mind as I have never been in the SimLab before and we were given no prior instructions: is this just a typo? Did they accidentally put the wrong wrist badge on? Isn't Rae the feminine spelling? Beth says she will go and get the charge (head) nurse. I can only assume she's going to leave the SimLab and go next door to the control room to figure out what the heck is going on.

We have informed Ray of what the problem is and he suggests calling someone. Well, what do you know? there's a phone in the room with a phone number to call the charge nurse. well that's handy. While Beth is calling whoever is on the other end of the line, I try to use my "therapeutic communication" techniques that I've been reading & being taught about. Then I realize it's a lot easier to just be myself and talk to Ray about why he's nervous, what he's most looking forward to doing when his knee is better, etc.

Well, what do you know? In comes the charge nurse. . .our instructor. well that's handy. Beth and I fly through the rest of the interaction: removing Ray's jewelry (nose ring, watch, ring), taking his pulse oximetry (better known as pulse ox on ER), determining he needed oxygen, administering oxygen & applying a nasal cannula. oh yeah. we're good.

Debriefing Room conclusions:
Pro: we caught the error, we called someone's attention to the error, we went for the pulse ox first instead of going straight for the oxygen tube, we "therapeutically communicated" with him
Con: we did not "therapeutically communicate" with him soon enough

Next up: BP clinic at the old folks home!

Halfway

2008-07-18T14:06:00.000-07:00

I have done several hard things in my life:

*survive the chicken pox
*accept that fact that there will never be another new episode of Saved by the Bell or Friends
*leave home to go to Linfield
*leave Linfield to return home
*eat 2 boxes of Twinkies to become the Linfield twinkie eating champion (no comments!)
*make it through "The Lost Years"
*swim an out-and-back in Hagg Lake
*Pilates class
*give Linfield even more money
*say good-bye to my little L.O. apartment
*keep the attention of 100 5-year-olds each Sunday morning

But I think I can honestly say the past 21 days have been the hardest span of 21 days I've gone through.

Think of it like this: You are a car. Your owner loves you, washes and waxes you and drives you all over town. And then you're sold. (can't believe I'm writing this. this is the dumbest metaphor ever. . .) So you sit on the lot and wait for someone to buy you. And potential buyers walk the lot. Most look and walk right past. Some pause, take a longer look and then just keep on walking. A couple times you even get taken out for a test drive! But the test drivers never come back a second time. So for years you sit. and sit. and sit some more. By this time, you actually enjoy your spot in the back of the lot. The cars next to you have been back there with you for years too and you've gotten really close. You get all of the perks of being for sale: washing and waxing and cleaning - without the hassle of random people driving you on dusty roads and asking all kinds of questions about you.

And then one random day, a day that's really not out of the ordinary, you see someone walking the lot that you recognize. And they're not even there to buy a car, but to see someone else at the dealership. But heck, since this person already knows the car, they decide to give it a test drive for old times sake. And the test drive is so fun that the person comes back the next day for another test drive and before you know it, he's bought the car. Which is ironic because he wasn't even in the market for a car. (seriously? I'm seriously writing this? somebody please stop me. it's for my own good.)

So you turn into a race car and drive around 100 mph every day. Sometimes the driver accidentally swerves into the neighboring lanes or applies the brakes too hard because the driver hasn't driven in a while and the car has been sitting on the lot for years & is not used to going over speeds of 10 mph (per the sign in the dealer's parking lot).

Then the driver parks you in his garage because he's going to be gone for a while. But he tanks you up & puts a cover on you so you will be protected while he's gone & ready to go when he's back. And then you sit. again. and you sit some more. And it's just like being on the dealer lot because there are other cars in the garage to be with (apparently this guy has roommates because he surely does not own more than one car. I want to make that abundantly clear.) and it's great just to be able to sit & talk again and not worry about getting dusty or a craked window on the open road.

But you think, although it's more wear and tear and upkeep on yourself, you like going 100 mph. You like being driven all and seeing places you've never seen before. Sure gas is expensive and sure you're bound to get a flat tire one of these days. But when that happens, you patch it up or put on a spare until you can get another tire & be good as new again. And sure, you don't get to spend as much time with the other cars but that's OK because they all have owners too.

So for 21 more days you are garage-bound. And for 21 more days you come up with as many other lame inanimate-object metaphors you can think of because you really have too much time on your hands and clearly an imagination to big for your own good. If this post has been too deep for you, please let me know and I will send you the Cliff Notes version. If you see me on the street, feel free to slap me for writing a CAR metaphor. I really could go all night though. . .let's see, what's next? fruit: I was like a week old banana. . .or carnival rides: everyone loves the bumper cars because they're so much fun but when you only have 1 ticket left, everyone goes for the roller coasters. . .sporting equipment: why does everyone want the flashy, colorful soccer balls? what's wrong with good ol' reliable black and white size 5? See - I really could go all night!

Heaven on Earth

2008-07-17T22:53:00.000-07:00

Thursday nights are turning out to be my favorite night of the week. Yes, it's like my "Friday" as far as school goes.

But even better, there exists a house in Tigard that could not be more friendly to enter.

The food could not be more delicious.

The company could not be more loving.

The atmosphere could not be more inviting.

And saying good-bye could not be harder.

Pet Peeve

2008-07-16T14:27:00.001-07:00

People who drive in the middle and left hand lanes that get passed by people in the right lanes drive me nuts! If you are not passing someone. . .move over!

I'm not a fan of speeding, but I do like to at least go the speed limit.

Thank you.

Oh deer

2008-07-14T18:58:00.000-07:00

I saw the most beautiful sight I've seen in my life yesterday. I know that may seem like a bold statement but I think it's true. I'm sure a sunset in the Black Butte meadow is up there. As would the view of the bus stop in Delphi, Greece.

But this was in my own backyard.

I went out on my deck with my not quite 4-month-old puppy so that we could head out to the shady part of the grass to play. Henry paused at the top of the stairs and I stood on the deck and turned to my right.

And there she stood.

The most beautiful, majestic looking doe. She was huge and she was looking right at me. I don't know where she came from but she found her way to my backyard.

The last thing I wanted was for Henry to be anywhere near her so I whipped my head around, called Henry's name about a bazillion times and grabbed his collar when he got close to me. I whipped my head back to the right and she was gone.

I threw Henry in the house and searched the backyard. Nothing. I don't know where she went or if she'll ever be back. It's quite a different feeling: seeing a deer in the backyard of your suburban house.

No one else was home. And as random as this sighting was, I'm thankful this was a "delight" (thank you Beth Moore) just for me.

Ouch!

2008-07-03T17:15:00.000-07:00

Today is the three year anniversary of "el accidente", my first ride in an ambulance, my first surgery and the first time I thought about being a nurse.

And it's the 21st anniversary of this as well:

Yep, you read that right. I broke my left radius and ulna on July 3, 1987 and I shattered my right wrist on July 3, 2005. I really shouldn't even be going out of the house today.

Montana - Friday edition

2008-07-01T12:16:00.001-07:00

As I boarded my first flight I was greeted by a friendly young flight attendant named Seth. He was very perky and made me wonder if I accidentally bought a ticket on Southwest. Nope, this was definitely a prop plane and I definitely just walked across the tarmac to climb a ramp to the plane. This particular leg I nabbed an aisle seat and lucky me, there were several teenage girls across the aisle and behind me. There’s nothing I enjoy more than listening to gossip, Hollywood (at this point I checked and no, my sister was not on the flight. Don’t worry, she knows she loves that stuff. It’s even on her blog) and how stupid certain people they know are. As the 35 minute flight continued, Seth and Kaylee provided excellent service. I even received an entire bottle of water! Wow! And the (FREE!) snack was mini crispy bruschetta with rosemary baked in. Basically, I ate 50 calories worth of glorified croutons. By the end of the flight, it was determined that these girls were actually 5-6 years older than me. How do I know this? Because they were talking about where they were when Mt. St. Helens blew. They were all in kindergarten and thought it blew in 1981 or 1982. It took everything I had not to pull a, "well actually. . .it was 1980 because it happened a week before I was born."

Off at Sea Tac and one hour later back on the same plane with Seth and Kaylee. The two of them had their shpeel down when going over the pre-flight instructions. They must be newbies because no one is that excited about cushions also acting as a flotation device. The only bummer – OK, it was a big bummer – was my seat assignment. I purposely reserved a window seat because I wanted to look at Montana as I flew over it. I’ve heard so much about it and seen so many pictures and movies (Hello? A River Runs Through It) so I find seat 11A and lo and behold, I do not have a window. WHAT? That’s ridiculous! I have WINDOW seat! That implies I should get BOTH: a window and a seat. Here’s what happened: on a plane the windows don’t line up exactly with each row of seats. Sometimes your window is a little in front or a little behind. Sometimes you may get TWO windows. (jackpot!) well in my case, I didn’t get ANY window. I got a wall. Well that’s just super. Luckily Seth gave me some more croutons and water so that made it all better.

Landing in Missoula. . .why is the sunset still visible at 11pm? Kind cool but jeepers, how do you sleep? Who am I kidding, when was the last time I was trying to go asleep before 11pm. The Missoula airport is. . .how do I say this. . .small. Which is ironic because it’s a massively huge state and the bitterroot valley is surrounded by these looming mountains on both sides (which are GORGEOUS by the way.) I turned on my phone once inside the terminal because I’m so popular that someone surely called me and left a message in the past 1 hours and 15 minutes while I was on the plane. Turns out not one but two people loved me! The first went a little something like this:
Hi Laura. This is Gary from the Townhouse Inn in Hamilton. It’s about 9:10 and we haven’t heard from you yet today so we’re going to assume you won’t be coming in tonight. I wanted to let you know that we’ll be releasing your room to any walk-ins. Please give me a call back if you have any questions.

Yeah, Gary, I have one question: WTF?!?! The second message was from my mom but I was so fired up that I just saved it and didn't even listen to it. Heck, she could have called to say we won the lottery, which meant I could afford to stay at the Holiday Inn (seriously, it was double the Townhouse Inn) or heck, buy a plot of land and build my house house in Hamilton to stay at, and I wouldn't have cared. At this point I was ready to hit something or cry. (clearly I have a split personality and anger management issues.) I called the previous day and confirmed my reservation and confirmed the late check-in. I started planning my threats to Gary while I dug in my (totally cute, new, pink Nike) bag for the phone number. “You’re going to book me in a neighboring hotel and you’re going to pay for it.” I realize a lot of the time I’m all talk when I get wound up, but perhaps the stress, lack of sleep and nerves would actually push it over the edge this time and I was fully prepared to regulate. I called Gary back and it went a little something like this:
Hi Gary. This is Laura (insert last name). You left me a message while I was on the plane and said you would be giving my room away. I’m not sure why that would happen because I called yesterday and confirmed my reservation and that my flight into Missoula was getting in at 11pm. Have you given my room away yet?
Gary: No, we haven’t had anyone walk in.
A Very Relieved Me: Great.
Gary: We usually don’t hold rooms past 9pm.
A Confused Me: (how is that even relevant for late check-ins and why isn't your entire staff educated on this policy?) Like I said, I called yesterday to confirm everything specifically so this wouldn’t happen.
Gary: Are you coming tonight?
An Annoyed Me: as I said before, my flight just landed in Missoula. I’m picking up my rental car and then I’ll be on my way.
Gary: We’ll see you when you get here.
A Still Annoyed Me: ok, bye

OK, so I could have been nicer but contextually, I’ve justified it.

The high schooler at the Hertz rental counter (on the same level and not quite 100 yards away from my arrival gate) was really nice, despite the fact that it was Friday night around 11:22pm and I know she would rather be with friends or asleep. Shoot, who wouldn’t? After denying all kinds of extra expenses and extra insurance, I was handed keys to my car for the next 21 hours: a Mazda 6. Oh yea. My night perked way up when I discovered it came with a GPS unit. Sweet! Now I won’t get lost on a rural Montana highway and end up in Canada in the morning! I don’t think I would have anyway, considering I had no less than 6 maps of Montana and Missoula of every range and size. I gave Shiela (the name I gave the GPS) the hotel’s address and situated everything I would need for the drive (and stay awake during the drive.) My phone in the first cup holder, a Winco bulk foods bag of M&M’s in the second cup holder, Google directions facing me on the passenger seat and radio stations reprogrammed to my liking. Said a prayer for protection and I was off!

Is it weird that I kind of felt grown up? Soemtimes I feel that way when I travel. I had all my reservations and confirmation codes, I had just rented a car and I was driving to someplace I had never been. In the dark. In rural Montana. (is that like saying suburban Tigard?) Yes, I was scared. Mostly that I was going to be struck and killed by a deer trying to cross the road. I shared this fear with several people (hotel staff, wedding attendants, airport shuttle drivers) and all of them confirmed this fear placed in me by the bride. They had all either been hit or had a close friend or family member whose vehicle had been totaled. Well great. I didn’t really like the look of the Mazda anyway. Maybe that hole in the passenger side door and dent in the rear bumper would actually improve it.

I passed establishment such as the Rear Stump along the way. I also played around with the radio stations and found a great 80’s station. That’s awesome! Montana loves the 80’s so I love Montana. I also called some VIP’s to let them know I had landed was on the road and they listened as I vented about the hotel situation. God bless them.

Slightly over one hour and several U-turns later, I pulled into the Townhouse Inn. Which, by the way, had a casino in it. I met Gary, was polite, and received keys to the last available room. Being the last free room I was the farthest away from the front desk, continental breakfast, security, you know, all that good stuff. Before going to bed, I let the VIP’s know I was in bed in the hotel. I also tried on the bridesmaid dress with the strapless bra I brought. . .for the first time. Yes, I realize I should have done this sooner but I had to know in case I had to head to the K-Mart next door in the morning. Everything fit and the girls were in place. (Ever since a flashing disaster I experienced at the reception of the first wedding I was ever in, I make it a point to see that just I attend the wedding, and not all three of us.)

Lights out at 1:30am with the alarm set to go off exactly 6 hours later. . .

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY JUSTIN & NICOLE!

2008-07-01T08:19:00.000-07:00

Two years ago:

You remember Nicole? Marathon runner extrodinaire. She may have almost died by my side at the finish line but on the other hand, she may have been trying to kill me in those last 3 miles. . .I haven't figured it out yet.

You remember Justin? He's the one who nicely shuttled us around Washington, handed us gummy bears & skittles. Decent tennis player. Better than average fantasy football manager.

My Best Friend's Wedding

2008-06-30T22:12:00.000-07:00

Holy quick trip Batman!!!

Time in Montana: 32 hours

Entire round trip: PDX-Hamilton = 40 hours

The bride and groom (duh) in front of their getaway car.

Two nerds about to enter the reception.

Fight Club

2008-06-27T12:28:00.000-07:00

Last Friday night I went to a MMA thing. What? You mean you don't know what that is? Oh my gosh, you are so not cool. For your information, MMA stands for Mixed Martial Arts. And it's a thing because I don't know if it was a match or fight or event. And let's be honest with ourselves, does it really matter and do I care. OK, that's a bit harsh. I do care solely because someone I care about, cares about it. So basically, here's what went down. Guys beat each other up all night. MMA, I didn't see. OK, so I have no clue what a MMA move would look like, so it's quite possible that I did see some MMA but I still don't think I did.

I did see a lot of blood. We were in the 3rd row so ideally I would have come prepared, the way people in the 80s prepared for a Gallagher concert. Seriously, the blood. It was out of control. I felt like I was at a Red Cross blood drive. People were just giving it away. The most common place it was donated from was the nose. No, no, it was above the eye. It actually might have been the cheek. Actually, I don't even know because it was just coming out everywhere. It didn't gross me out (which is good, being a nursing student) but I wanted to run up there, apply pressure and stitch everyone up.

I think the greatest part of the evening was when the fighters were introduced by the announcer and strutted down the walkway toward the ring. What made this so great? Each dude had their own walk (strut, if you will) and most seemed to have water in their ears because they shook their head from side to side coming down the walk. They also must have just finished rock climbing because they were shaking their arms out. Hey, reality check. You're in Portland, Oregon with a couple thousand people cheering. Oh, and let's not forget the entourages. You know, you've seen the show. The guys who really can't survive in the work world and are constantly telling the fighters how awesome they are and how rad they look and how they're going to pummel the snot out of the guy in the blue corner. Most of these guys were short. Just my observation.

And now let's discuss who I was sitting around (with a few exceptions). (Disclaimer: these are simply my observations.)
I was perhaps the only natural blonde. I had perhaps the only silicone-free chest. I had perhaps the only lower back not tatooed with butterflies, asian writing or flowers. I was sober, but I'm sure a lot of them were sober also. It's just most of the time, I couldn't tell. I had a hunch I probably wasn't the target demographic for this event by simply walking through the Rose Garden lobby. I was a girl in a khaki shorts & a white sleeveless blouse. Clearly, in the minority. Clearly, I did not know I would be attending this romp when I dressed that morning. I had actually dressed for a church celebration.

Would I go back? Probably not. Am I glad I went? Yes, now that it's over. I was cultured, expanded my horizons and as the saying goes, you gotta try everything at least once, right? Right! Even MMA.

Bon voyage Juanito!

2008-06-27T12:13:00.000-07:00

1 day down.

41 to go.

I highly recommend you follow the Central American trip.

Long Live the. . .

2008-06-26T11:11:00.000-07:00

Several years ago, I was telling a friend (OK, many years ago because I don't even remember what friend I am referencing and it's quite possible they are no longer my friend) that I had to go to a dentist to get a crown. "That just means you're a princess!" they replied. Alright! I like that kind of thinking! (Actually, I hope this person is still my friend because I like that kind of optimism and silver-lining thinking.)

Well, 2 days ago I was dethroned, if you will. There I was, reading away like a good nursing student, getting ready for the first day of class, and chomping on some gum like the gum addict I am. I had started chewing when I felt something hard in my piece of gum. "Well that's odd", I thought. "Maybe the gum didn't get cooked/baked/made correctly because I can't get this one part to be squishy." So I kept chomping and chomping, still the whole thing wasn't chewy. I wanted to see what hard, unchewed gum looked like, so I pulled it out, moved it around in my fingers and saw that it was GOLD. I can't type my immediate thoughts because my grandparents read this on occasion, so assume it's a word or series of words I would never say in front of my grandparents. (I'll let you be the judge of which words they actually were.)

So I spent an entire day with half a tooth in my mouth and half a "tooth" in a plastic ziplock on my bathroom counter. I had to only chew on my right side (I don't believe I've ever done that), keep my tongue from drifting over to touch the half-tooth (gross!) and be petrified that a nerve would suddenly become exposed and send me into orbit if anything got near it. (I don't care how much I learn about anatomy, my imagination will probably always be bigger and more rediculous.)

But the best part of this entire experience was going to the dentist and having him chip away the old cement on the half-tooth and then some. There's apparently decay still going on, so he drilled and picked and chipped some of my half-tooth off. By the way, that's not fun, nor does it feel good.

But my crown was cemented back on which means I am, once again, a princess. Which is great because I am starting to come to terms with the fact that I probably will not marry Prince William.

My Best Friend's Wedding

2008-06-21T16:03:00.000-07:00

I am now officially ready to head off and perform the duty of MOH at my best friend's wedding. I've got the dress, shoes that will kicked off promptly after walking back down the aisle, camera with fresh batteries, hotel reservations for the city of Hamilton (yes, we are big enough to appear on a map dang it!) and Missoula (yes, we are big enough for an international airport dang it!), flask for reception, a car with 125 free miles to get me everywhere, pedicure (perhaps the most important item), plane ticket to get me shuttle me around the northwest (did you know Horizon serves free beverages?! this is great news!) and my sense of adventure (I'll be calling on this shortly after I begin driving in the dark through rural Montana. Was that a cougar I just saw? Nope, just a big apple tree.)

HAMILTON, MONTANA OR BUST!!! WOO-HOO!!!

Tim Hawkins - Corporate Worship Songs

2008-06-16T14:37:00.001-07:00

this is awesome. And of all the companies to name first. . .

Crack Team of Rejects

2008-06-15T18:59:00.000-07:00

The six GREATEST people you could EVER hope to work with.

Freaked out

2008-06-15T13:25:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been freaked out about something? I don't mean nervous or scared but totally and completely petrified out of your mind thinking about something that you will have to do. There's no way out. No going back. Go straight for nerve jail. No passing Go and no collecting $200. How do you deal with it? Well, I'll tell you how I dealt with it: yes, crying, duh. But also gritting my teeth through the tears and, in the words of my former employer: Just Do(ing) It.

I skied down Mt. Hood yesterday. Wait, let me start at the beginning. I hiked Mt. Hood yesterday. Not all the way to the top, thanks to a certain Mr Sleeping Beauty, but 3/5 of the way up. Not being a watch-wearer, I don't know how long it took us. If I had to estimate, I'd say somewhere between a long time and a really long time. Let me describe the weight of the pack I had to carry on my back because it weighed somewhere between extremely heavy and you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me-there's-no-way-I-can-stand-in-the-parking-lot-with-this-thing-on-let-alone-climb-several-miles-up-a-mountainside. Inside were 2 ski boots, 2 skis, water, extra clothes, snacks, my mountain locater beeper and probably a couple of sets of Encyclopedia Britannica and water buffalo. On the way up we met some friendly folk due to the fact that I was hiking with He Who Chats With Everyone. (Sleeping Beauty's native american name. this is a good thing by the way - I've met some fun people and had many laughs thanks to Chats.) We met Mr. & Mrs. Rich Old Couple, Single Dad who is contemplating going back to school to teach, Acquaintance From the Lodge who practically ran right past us and Two Guys With Same Pace. If you've never hiked Mt. Hood, don't. If you do, you might as well go all the way to the top. There's no sense in going halfway. You're going to be knocking on death's door no matter how far you go, so why not have the best view possible while you're knocking?

So 2 pieces of bread, a Zone bar and half of a Chips Ahoy 100 calorie pack later, we had finished our approximately 1.5 mile hike. Water was consumed. Oxygen was inhaled and prayers of gratitude were expressed. As hard and horrible as it was hiking up, the worst was yet to come. Now was the part I'd been dreading since I heard the answer to my question: how do you get down? The answer was what I was about to do: just ski down. I'm sorry, just? I don't just ski down a mountain. Cats don't just swim and Ashlee Simpson doesn't just sing. These things are not natural and do not often happen unless the universe sails through a twilight zone or worm hole. Forgetting everything about the actual equipment and the actual act of snowplowing, I forgot to pack my pants, so this was already off to a horrible start. Not to mention the fact that an employee of the moutain was standing right there watching us. When confused about what to do first, Mr. I'm Super Good at Snowboarding told me nonchalantly to "just put on the boots & skis." Uh, I don't just do anything that comes to skiing. I don't even really remember how to put them on. I know my foot goes in the foot hole because it looks like a big boot and I know how to put my shoes on each morning but beyond that - I'm clueless.

With the boots on and left ski locked on, it came time for the right ski to be put on. I couldn't do it, fell on my butt and popped out of my left ski. That means I have to put the left one on again too. Great. Great start. Meanwhile, let me give you a picture of what's going on in the background on the actual run: a competitive ski group has been swishing by and going in between the red & blue gates and basically looking like Olympians in my eyes. If I get this snowplowing down, I'll be happy.

With all equipment attached correctly, poles in my hand and my bag on the back of Mr. Man With the Patience of Job, I headed down the mountain. and I fell. shocker. let me just give you the rundown of the next 5 minutes: crying behind my sunglasses, falling, trying my darndest to make sure Mr. I Have an Insane Amount of Patience doesn't see that I'm crying, more falling, verbalizing my timidity by saying "You have no idea how far out of my comfort zone I am!", falling, repeating my favorite phrase "ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh" (must be said in multiples of 3) and falling some more. Whether it was intentional or not, Mr. Amazing always let me get up by myself & start again.

I can't describe to you my intense dislike for just about everything during those first 5 minutes. Maybe if I had skied more than twice in my entire life, and if the last time wasn't more than 10 years ago and if I had left the bunny trail at least once during those 2 times I wouldn't have minded. But for someone with ego problems who thinks they have to be an expert at everything they do, this was very humbling. I disliked that stupid mountain, I was mad at myself for not being able to do it, disliked all the Olympians I had to share the mountain with, disliked the people on the chair lifts who were obviously staring at me, laughing and then talking about me the rest of the day, I disliked the sun for being way too bright, the elevation for giving me an insane headache and even Mr. Amazing for talking me into doing this ridiculous adventure. Oh, and did I mention the 6 year olds in racing gear that were swooshing by me at 200 mph? I was so terrified, at one point I think I actually started to pray I would pass out from altitude sickness. Then again, there was a lack of oxygen flowing to the brain, so I may be making that up.

Goal #1: snowplow straight down. Once I mastered this, I started going faster downhill which I wanted to avoid at all costs so I would turn right and stop myself. When Mr. I'm Still Amazing reminded me that I was only going 1 mph and everything was fine because he was literately right behind me, I reminded him that I had never been down something so steep before and it was fast to me. Now, I don't know if you've ever being sking but, the thing with ski runs is, they don't span the entire mountain. They have boundaries. So the snowplow straight/turn right plan worked for a while but sooner or later I was going to run into some barriers so I had to learn to turn left. I completely empathize with Derek Zoolander now. First attempt turning left resulted in screams and a fall. Luckily by now, I was most accomplished at getting back up. Second attempt turning left resulted in screams and a fall. I did eventually turn left without falling but I'm pretty sure I still screamed or made some noise that sounded like a swear word. It must have been a noise because I never swear except in traffic. But it may be justified because the Olympians were now taking their second pass down the mountain and threatening my life by flying past me at 90 mph several hundred feet away from where I was on my butt.

OK, so now I can snowplow straight, turn right and turn left. One more factor that I had to get down: the poles. Apparently I had been crossing them in front of me when I would turn. Apparently that's not what you're supposed to do. I'm not sure my brain is capable of thinking about skis AND poles at the same time, so I basically kept them dragging in the snow at all times. If I was about to fall, I'd forget about my snowplowing and dig my poles into the ground. I'm sure at this point I looked really awesome.

At this point I had convinced myself that hiking down would have been WAY faster. Maybe one of the elementary school-aged Olympians would mow me down and then I could just roll all the way down to the parking lot. Then I could sue for damages, buy my own mountain and never have to worry about anyone knocking me over again. Wait, that would imply that I would actually desire to go through this again. Yep, brain is definitely oxygen deficient.

With all of this chatter going on in my brain, somewhere along the way I had stopped crying and I was doing multiple passes before pausing and then I would remain upright when I was paused. Wait a sec, I may be able to do this. I don’t know when the switch flipped, but it did. I remained petrified and the family of butterflies living my stomach must have been [insert religion/culture that encourages big families] because they had been multiplying like crazy but I wasn’t falling down. Mr. I Have a Cute Snowboard Because it Has a Turtle on It But Don’t Call It Cute Because I’m a Dude could even board away from me, get a few airs and hopefully enjoy himself a little because I was alright on my own.

Yes I made it down to the parking lot and no, the snow didn’t melt and go through my clothes.

So, what do you do when you have to do something that you don’t want to do?

YOU DO IT!!!

And just when you think life can't get any better. . .

2008-06-12T00:31:00.000-07:00

IT DOES!!!

I thought officially being a PCC alumni alone would make a day excellent (and it totally would.) But then the night brings a looooooooong nap, a burger with avacados, the joy of eating artichokes AND Planet Earth on the "big screen."

And a story told in third person, which after 3 glasses of wine, I had no clue what third person meant. . .I'm pretty sure June 11 is going down in history (even though it did include 10 hours of studying.)

Monday May 20th blog

2008-06-11T11:36:00.000-07:00

I found a sheet of paper in my A&P notebook today with some scribblings on it. I obviously wrote this down while a certain student in my class ("the talker") was telling a story about how a friend of hers had the certain disease we happened to be talking about or a patient at work came in with a certain condition and it was treated differently than what was listed in the PowerPoint. Everytime she talks I swear I'm listening to Charlie Brown's teacher.

Anyway, the headline on this ripped out piece of notebook paper is:

"Reasons to be happy and/or thankful today"

Actually, now looking at the title, I may have been totally lost & confused and needed reasons not to walk outside & jump off the HT building. (exaggeration - I promise!) And now for your viewing pleasure, the reasons I found to be happy and/or thankful for back on Monday, May 20th.

*Sun, sun & more sun

*I don't have to run today

*double chocolate brownie ice cream is in the freezer (yes, excellent marathon preparation)

*my puppy loves me. He really, really loves me!

*The fire drill at work, that turned out to be real, happened on a sunny day

*Thanks to the 20 mile runs & outdoor study sessions, my Bare Escentials foundation has progressed from Fair (polar bear white) to Fairly Light (dirty polar bear white)

*For a job that allows me to google chat as much as I want

*for someone to Google chat with

*for the impending sob fest that will be taking place at work in __ days because I don't want to leave (apparently I was unable to do math at that moment)

*air conditioning

*that I only have ONE A&P lecture left

Ode to Procrastination

2008-06-10T23:04:00.000-07:00

It’s the night before my last PCC final
And I’m feeling a little sad thinking back on all the times I’ve had.

I started with Bio and Athropology
And now I’m ending with Anantomy & Physiology.

I started in my apartment in L.O. and working at Nike.
Now I’m back in a house in Tigard and working at Nike.

I’ve been to college once before but this was not the same.
I don’t live on school grounds and I don’t know anyone’s name.

There’s definitely more extra credit and it’s easier to get an A,
Except in A&P where the only way to earn it is to study night and day.

I’ve had some great professors like Tara and Larry
But this year it’s been only Ed and he is quite scary.

It would be nice to have the summer off, yes, that would be quite good.
But I’ll have to settle for using to weekends to do stuff, like climb Mt. Hood.

Only one more day left and then I’ll be done.
I better suck down this Diet Pepsi, and then drink another one.

Otherwise I won’t stay awake to learn about heredity & lactation.
I can’t wait until Friday because that kicks off 10 days of vacation!

I wrote this thing in all of 5 minutes flat
But now it’s back to the reproductive flashcards and all ‘dat.

The Good, The Bad and The Finish Line

2008-06-10T09:19:00.000-07:00

Nicole and I totally rocked the North Olympic Discovery Marathon on Sunday. We ran 26.2 miles from Sequim to Port Angeles up in Washington. Definitely a blog is coming about the whirlwind weeked (trains and ferries and cars, oh my!) but that will have to wait until after finals (and my choc/vanilla swirled TCBY w/butterfinger topping & several glasses of Ste. Michelle reisling.) So the rule of thumb is, you're never supposed to ask a marathoner what their time was, just if they finished. I will spare you from having to ask and just tell you:

4:44:59!!!

And may I remind you, the first person to ever do this DIED!

Feeling good before the halfway point!

In the words of Dory, "Just keep running. Just keep running."

I didn't die!!! This is great news!!!

We're having a fiesta!

2008-06-04T13:12:00.000-07:00

Seriously, where else can you do this at 10am on a Tuesday?

Melissa smacks it as I look on in awe.

The poor burro after we were done with it.

It's all in the Attitude

2008-06-01T19:44:00.000-07:00

I had to read this yesterday morning to get me through the day. . .

ATTITUDE

by charles swindoll

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.

Attitude, to me, is more important than facts.

It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do.

It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill.

It will make or break a company... a church... a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.

We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.

We cannot change the inevitable.

The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude...

I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.

And so it is with you... we are in charge of our attitudes.

Rare

2008-05-31T01:03:00.000-07:00

I've only been around for 28 years but I know that some things are very rare.

Rarely are we afforded the opportunity to be plunked back down in the exact same surroundings. And rarer still is when those circumstances that surround us are identical but our own circumstances are completely different. If ever one could be granted a do-over/take-2 or truly experience deja vu, this would certainly be it.

Everyone has a "best time of their life". . .and several runners up. And usually that winner is filled with something momentous, something not found in everyday life. And so it was for me the first time around: an extraordinary night in which something "momentous" happened that was not found in everyday life.

Enter the rare do-over/take-2/deja vu. Here is a night filled with the ordinary. Nothing momentous. Everything possible in everyday life. And yet, it's the ordinary that makes it extraordinary.

Today I'm thankful: for the ordinary, for second chances (cue Celine Dion), for being able to recognize the simplistic beauty of a moment while I'm actually in the moment, that God knows exactly what he's doing because I clearly didn't/don't have a clue.

this is what bored people do on a bridge waiting for fireworks to start:

seriously, why must I always make this face???

Happy Birthday to me!

2008-05-30T07:13:00.000-07:00

My birthday got off to a phenomenal start so let's see what else is in store: work (which is great because if you haven't noticed, I love my job & we're in the midst of summer hours so I'm done at NOON), eye exam (= new contacts!), Dosha, nap, BBQ, Rose Festival fireworks.

Yep - today's going to be AWESOME.

7:39am ~ "Delight" of the day #1: A dove just landed on the roof right outside my bedroom window. Awesome.

10:59am ~ to no one's surprise, my cubicle is decked out with streamers and balloons. To my surprise, it has a 7 year-old's theme: SpongeBob balloons, Finding Nemo streamers & Hannah Montana noise makers. (When I was on hold with NikeTravel yesterday and listening to the hold music, I guess I shouldn't have admitted that I knew that Miley Cyrus was singing.)

And in conclusion. . .

2008-05-29T08:37:00.000-07:00

it is impossible for me to look even remotely cute in my glasses.

Note to self: order contacts from Costco TODAY!!!

Mutant squirrel

2008-05-25T14:52:00.000-07:00

We have a family of squirrels at work that we love, feed and watch constantly throughout the day. Now we have a hairless, mutant squirrel that grosses everyone out every time it shows up.

Proverbs 19:21

2008-05-25T14:38:00.000-07:00

Birthday wish

2008-05-23T10:19:00.000-07:00

I've finally figured out what I want for my birthday!

"In addition to the jewelry, Tiffany will accessorize Ms. Sharapova’s custom French Open tennis dress. The “Paris dress,” by Nike is a 1920s-inspired design that reflects her dynamic sense of style. Designed in collaboration with Ms. Sharapova, the performance Dri-Fit dress is dark obsidian blue with contrasting chalk white satin ribbons and double layered pleated skirt. The elegant, ultra-light creation is finished with a luminous Tiffany pearl button closure that fastens at the back of the dress."

http://www.businesswire.com/portal/site/google/?ndmViewId=news_view&newsId=20080522005644&newsLang=en

article from The Onion

2008-05-22T15:04:00.000-07:00

PORTLAND, OR—In a move that added the world's pre-eminent equine athlete to its stable of endorsers Tuesday, Nike signed Kentucky Derby and Preakness Stakes winner Big Brown to a seven-year, $80 million endorsement contract that included a $10 million signing bonus as well as the creation of a signature horseshoe, the Air Brown.

"Nike is ecstatic to sign the top star in horseracing," CEO and Nike president Mike Parker said, unveiling the "jumphorse" logo as the Kentucky-bred colt trotted onstage. "From Michael Jordan to Tiger Woods, Nike has created formidable partnerships with the very best in sports. I can't say how proud we are to work with B.B., who is an extraordinary individual both on and off the track."

"Big B doesn't complain when he gets the far outside starting gate position," Parker added. "He just gallops. And he gives hope to everyone out there that if they train hard, push themselves, and keep their snout clean, they can accomplish anything."
Big Brown, whose Nike endorsement deal is the largest ever for a thoroughbred, was flown from New York to Portland in a private Nike jet stocked with the world's finest bourbon, caviar, sugar cubes, cigars, carrots, and hay. Upon arriving on the west coast, the equine superstar's handlers whisked him past a throng of cheering fans into a stretch limousine bound for Nike headquarters, where Brown, his 11-horse entourage, and his team of lawyers reviewed the contract one last time before signing.

Slated for release on June 1, the lightweight, U-shaped Air Brown horseshoe features Nike's patented air-cushioning system, consisting of a pressurized gas encapsulated in polyurethane and aluminum. According to Nike engineers, the innovative technology was created to provide equal measures of comfort, support, and performance on both dirt and grass tracks by reducing shock, distributing pressure, and protecting the hooves from overpronation. Big Brown intends to debut the Air Brown horseshoes on June 7 at the Belmont Stakes, when he attempts to become the first horse to win the elusive Triple Crown in 30 years.

Although Big Brown was approached by a number of suitors from sportswear manufacturers including Adidas, Reebok, and Pony, the undefeated 3-year-old was ultimately won over by Nike's willingness to work closely with him to create a horseshoe conforming to his strong sense of personal style as well as his physical needs. Big Brown was reportedly impressed by Nike's efforts when technicians used cameras to record his gait from multiple angles while he ran on a treadmill.

"Because Big Brown's hooves have been prone to injuries, we created 3D computer models to map out their exact size and shape in order to design a customized horseshoe that fits perfectly," Nike technician Kenneth Phillips said. "We've also determined he can reduce the risk of impact injuries during his workouts by exercising on a quartet of stationary elliptical machines."
Nike marketing personnel said that throughout the design process, Big Brown has viewed his trademark sportswear as a lifestyle rather than a line of products bearing his image. Whether approving design sketches or choosing materials, the racehorse has emphasized the promotion of individual identity by insisting the Air Brown buyer should be able to customize their horseshoes with alternate color schemes, optional blinking LEDs, or Swarovski crystals.

"B-Squared brings a lot of energy to this project—you should see him cantering around in a frenzy, ranging back and forth in the studio space," Parker said. "He's really exposing a side of himself that many people haven't seen before. He's showing everyone that he's for real."
While some critics have insinuated that Big Brown is too young and lacks experience, Parker confirmed his company's confidence in the colt's potential when he pointed out that the racehorse is undefeated in all five of his career starts and yet still takes time to volunteer in the community.

"We signed Jordan when he was just a rookie and brought LeBron on before he even played in the NBA," Parker said. "Those guys turned out great. Well, B.B. is like three Kobe Bryants, two LaDainian Tomlinsons, and an Alex Rodriguez all rolled up in one. "

"Big B might be an upstanding citizen, but he's totally rock 'n' roll," Parker added. "You never know if he's going to come out of the gate with a green, purple, natural, or orange mane."
Despite being overwhelmed with pre-orders of Air Browns, Nike has maintained that Big Brown's new casual line, the B2 Titanium HorseNeaks, would be available for purchase in August.

Best e-mail exchange yesterday at work.

2008-05-21T08:31:00.000-07:00

(Names have been altered to protect the identity of co-workers who have no idea that I have a blog. Or that I blog about them. Hint: as in all e-mail chains, start and the bottom & work up.)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Patrick Sent: Tuesday, May 20, 2008 9:29 AMTo: Lst-New.Concept.Team Subject: RE: Questions for China call

Just as I suspected! Oh yea, one more question, have you seen this picture?

From: Laura Sent: Tuesday, May 20, 2008 9:25 AMTo: Patrick Subject: RE: Questions for China call

Your answers are below in red. . .

From: Patrick Sent: Tuesday, May 20, 2008 9:22 AMTo: Pete; Melissa; Aaron; Holly; Patrick; Laura; Jill Subject: RE: Questions for China call

What call? Don’t know
Who’s on it? Don’t care
When will it be? Again. Don’t know.
How long? Still not caring.
Why do I have to be on it? Because
Will you be on it? Heck no!
Are you going to miss us when you leave? You have no idea how much!

From: Laura Sent: Tuesday, May 20, 2008 9:07 AMTo: Lst-New.Concept.Team Subject: Questions for China call

Hey guys,

Can you please send me by noon, any questions you want addressed during the China call?

Thanks!

Help! I need somebody. Help!

2008-05-16T11:01:00.001-07:00

OK, things are not going so well for the continent of Asia lately. If I posted statistics for death, injury & missing tolls, they would need to be updated by tomorrow morning anyway. So if you can, I HIGHLY encourage you to give to a REPUTABLE organization. Here are some links below to help you on your way:

American Red Cross
Save the Children
Northwest Medical Teams (oh, sorry, Medical Teams International)
Doctors Without Borders

Welcome Home Henry!!!

2008-05-11T22:41:00.001-07:00

28 Days Later

2008-05-10T09:44:00.000-07:00

No I'm not writing about one of the worst movies ever made that should be "Eternal Sunshined" out of everyone's head who's had the grave misfortune of being tortured with that waste of time & space. I'm writing about me (duh - it's my blog) and the last 28 days of my life.

Now I'm going to try my darndest not to get too cheesy but hey, that's me so tough noogies if I go there. (But I really will make a conscious effort not to.)

As my co-worker Pete's life coach, I always tell him 2 things: follow your heart and you can't know where you're going until you know where you've been. So let's take my own advice on that second part and rewind about 29 days. I don't remember what I did during the day but I do remember trying to go to sleep that night. It was awful. I bawled myself to sleep. Sometimes "a perfect storm" will happen in your life and there's nothing you can do but just batton down the hatches, take cover, pray that you make it through and wait for it to pass. Your only goal is simply survive. Nothing more. Some people may face it head on. I am not one of those people. So I bunkered underneath the covers where I was housesitting and tossed like a fish around the 6 different pillows this bed had. I felt like Goldilocks that night: each pillow had it's own problem of being too big, too hard, to squishy, etc. So, taking advice of the wooden sign next to my bed at home, when I can't sleep, instead of counting sheep, I talk to the shepard. I'm sure it was a very incoherent monolouge seeing as how I was working myself up and blowing my nose every 2 minutes. (side note: did Jesus ever catch a cold? Another question to add to The List I guess.) I do know that I asked a lot of questions, and the vast majority of them began with "Why". Curious by nature, I love knowing the big picture and just getting snippets of a story or system (in A&P) doesn't make sense to me. But I know I'm not privy to that kind of information. There isn't an old lady living next door that I can go look in her eye and know how it's all going to turn out.

Luckily God has a great sense of humor and I'm sure He was laughing at me on the night of April 11th. Oh foolish girl, just trust me will you? Just give me 24 hours and you will see.

April 12th kicked off 28 days like none other I can remember. They say things happen in 3's. So has it been this past month. Things that I have been completely unworthy of I have been given and when someone asks me how I am, I want to steal the standard response of the same question from a Treehouse leader: "Better than I deserve." (Now here's where I'm going to struggle with the cheesiness. My sincere aplogies in advance.)

Proverb 13:19 says, "A longing fulfilled is sweet to the soul" which is what will happen around 2:30pm today. The fam is headed down to Salem to pick up the newest member of our family, Henry. If you're a dog person, you understand. A dog enmeshes itself in your life. It comes it and takes over and you're thankful for that. I've never seen unconditional love like I have with Murphy and Riley. Think of the person you love most in your life. Have they been excited to see you every single time you meet? Are they excited enough that they drop what they're doing and run to greet you? Do they make you laugh until you cry several times a day? Dogs in our family are part of the family. Some people might not get it, but that's OK. Our house has been empty, quiet, dull and simply a house for 6 months (actually 5 months and 29 days). As of this afternoon, it will be a home again. Good thing Henry O'Malley doesn't realize the responsibility he has but if he's anything like our other puppies, he won't have to even try.

I'm pretty sure getting into nursing school could be classified a big moment in anyone's life, especially mine. Seeing the huge manilla envelope and already knowing what it said inside was an odd feeling. When was the last time you screamed and ran around and cried because you were so excited? I can only think of one other time in my whole 28 years. How lucky I feel to be part of the "Elite 8%". How lucky I feel to now have had 2 moments when I could scream out loud and act like an idiot without giving a rip about what anyone else thinks. How lucky I feel to be given my old student ID#, my old e-mail address back and a chance to go through Linfield again enjoying the non-tennis aspects of school and graduate in good ol' McMinnville. How lucky that I did not have to decide where to go to school and that the decision was made for me. Apparently Someone knew I would have picked another school or Linfield so that option was simply taken away from me. Great - that makes life so much easier!

And last but certainly not least, the third is my . . . . .yeah right! You think I'm blogging about that? You're crazy. I haven't done a "what I learned today" post in a very long time so I'll do it here being as vaguely specific as I can. I've learned that: I love sushi, I was right in sticking to my guns back in the day, it isn't about what you do, and most importantly that three is definitely better than two,

Hebrews 11:1 ~ "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."

Maybe I should have stayed home. . .

2008-05-09T18:32:00.000-07:00

I'm finding it is slightly difficult to study the Reproductive System at the library without feeling like I'm going to be kicked out at any second for inappropriate material being displayed on my computer, book & print outs.

2 More Reasons to be Thankful

2008-05-04T17:42:00.001-07:00

According to my self-urinalysis in lab on Friday I am neither pregnant nor do I have cancer or the kidney!

WOO-HOO!!

Nano-ounce

2008-05-04T17:39:00.000-07:00

My new favorite word.

(And I don't care if it's real or not!)

Seriously?!?!?!

2008-05-02T16:55:00.001-07:00

I don't know if you've heard, but they've renamed the Portland medical university that sits atop the hill.

It's now OHS-Poo.

GO WILDCATS!!!

Seamus - 6 weeks

2008-04-28T15:24:00.000-07:00

And this time, the fam got to visit!

At one point, there were 14 puppies out & about!!!

Me and "Yellow", the most energetic of the boys (so obviously my favorite)

Dad and our #1 choice. Could this be the future Henry???

Too cute!!!

This week in review - according to the alphabet

2008-04-25T12:01:00.000-07:00

A: AWESOME (best word to sum up the week)
B: Bowling (spent 2 hours attempting to do this Tuesday afternoon)
C: Curve (which landed me a final test grade 2 letters higher than the one I actually earned.)
D: Death (laughter almost caused mine after a 2 hour work lunch on Thursday)
E: Esther (my character’s name in the first “big church” skit I was in)
F: Fajitas (eaten for Wednesday night’s dinner)
G: Guitar Hero (scheduled to be played Friday evening)
H: Henry gets a visit from his future family (we’re visiting our puppy on Sunday!)
I: Intense bridal shower planning (ok, not really, this one is more sarcasm)
J: hmmmm, I really can't think of any word beginning with J that was involved in my week. . .I'll have to come up with something. . . .hmmmmmm
K: Ken Kesey’s play, “Sometimes A Great Notion” (ushering tonight at the PCS)
L: LINFIELD
M: Marie Callendar lunch (in which I almost died from suffocation from laughing too hard for too long)
N: New shoes (“aced” a test & got into nursing school. I totally deserve them.)
O: “ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod” (reaction of seeing a while oversize envelope in the mailbox with Pioneer Tower in the return address label)
P: Pop Rocks (intense, sour Pop Rocks no less, consumed in large quantities during bowling)
Q: Question: which bear is best? (line from one of the funniest office scenes to make up for the not-so-funny episode this week.)
R: Rolling Hills Community Church welcomes Joel Rosenburg
S: Sixteen & Starbucks (number of miles to be run on Saturday morning followed by coffee with a best friend)
T: Tulips (lucky recipient of TWO “Henry flowers” – not to be confused with Henry my future dog & on AP Day)
U: Urinary system (topic of Friday’s lab)
V: VERY, very happy. (my demeanor this week)
W: Work holiday: Administrative Professionals Day (secretaries rock!)
X: Xerox (what I used to make color copies of my Linfield letter)
Y: “Yes” (newly acquired buzz word)
Z: Zero. (my home page at work)

I'M A WILDCAT!!!!!!!!!!

2008-04-24T13:33:00.000-07:00

(Again.)

The Music of the Night

2008-04-23T15:34:00.000-07:00

Last night's theme of American Idol was "Andrew Lloyd Webber". Or as I refer to it, "Let's sing some of the greatest, most emotionally packed songs ever written" night. There is a special place in my heart for ALW squeezed between salad dressing and the Bronte sister novels: things that were good the first time you encountered them but that I've grown to love the more and more I'm exposed to them.

The one reason I highly enjoy ALW is because he is the creative genius behind The Best Musical of All Time: The Phantom of the Opera. If you have never experienced The Phantom live and in person, you are missing out on a highlight of your life. I don't care if you hate "the arts" or if you've never been to a Broadway play, I promise you that it is impossible to walk away from this beautiful, action-packed, tense, thriller of an evening. I've been lucky enough to see Phantom 3 times. The first was in middle school. . .

My best friends were twins, Jennifer and Jessica, and their mom scored tickets to Phantom and somehow I was invited along. I remember wearing what would be considered a "Sunday best" dress and being so excited because I was heading off to that huge, thriving metropolis far, far away: Portland. Downtown is like a whole other world when you're a kid. The buildings are taller. There are more people out walking and everyone is all dressed up. We ate dinner at that huge restaurant on the corner of the waterfront (the name is escaping me right now. Note to self to do a Google check later.) You know, the one that's right across from the floating restaurant formally known as Newport Bay? We sat at a huge round table and you will never believe what was waiting for us on the table: cloth napkins! Cloth! As a middle schooler, how many times have you been to a restaurant with cloth napkins? Almost never! But it got even better. I was given the green light by my hostess to order my first Shirley Temple. A Shirley Temple! You mean like that little girl in the movie "Heidi"? I don't even know what's in it, but yeah, sign me up! What's that you say? It comes with a cherry in it? This is the greatest night EVER!

Civic Auditorium was, in keeping with the theme of the night, huge. Look at all the pretty people. They must all meet here and then disperse throughout the city. Now, being less than 13 years old, I had no clue what the story was about, what the songs sounded like or that this wasn't really an opera but instead was a play with the word "Opera" in the title with people singing opera in it. If you've never heard the opening song of Phantom, don't. Let the first time you hear it be when you are sitting in your seat because when it starts, your seat will start to move with the first note. It's the most haunting one note you've ever heard (which means the piano player has most of his fingers on the black keys.)

I tried really hard to follow the plot line and although I'm sure I missed out on a lot, I did get the gist of it. (Kind of like if I was to pick up and read a Shakespeare play right now.) There's a pretty girl. And a handsome guy. And a ghost guy. Pretty Girl and Handsome Guy are in love but Ghost Guy loves Pretty Girl and wants her all to himself. Oh, and there's 2 old, funny Parisian guys that run the place and a diva who thinks that she runs the place. I fell for the Ghost Guy because I felt so sorry for him. It wasn't his fault he was disfigured. It wasn't his fault he was a better singer than anyone actually working at the opera house. It wasn't his fault he fell in love with Pretty Girl. I kept wanting Pretty Girl to stay with him. Handsome Guy just seemed so typical. Plus, he Parisian which automatically means he's skinnier than her, smokes and isn't showering everyday. So I was squarely in The Phantom's court.

But Laura, he killed people to show how serious he was.
Yeah, but he could sing!

But Laura, he kidnapped her.
Yeah, but he could play the piano!

But Laura, he held her hostage down in his lair beneath the Paris Opera house.
Yeah, but he could sing to her!

But Laura, he made her choose between her and Handsome Guy’s life.
Hello! Did you not hear me before? He could serenade her while playing an instrument!

OK, so I’m a sucker for this stuff. I may have an excess of a gene. Since my love-for-the-TV-show-CSI gene does not exist perhaps it mutated to an extra sucker-for-sappiness gene. But really, who doesn’t want to be awakened by pebbles being thrown at their window. Heck, even if you have no musical ability whatsoever, pick up some batteries, throw them in your boom box and just hold it up above your head a la John Cusak.

But please, there’s no need to drag me into the sewer afterward.

Seamus - 5 weeks

2008-04-22T22:36:00.000-07:00

I found out tonight that little Seamus O'Malley McGillicuddy will be coming home May 9 or 10.

I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!! I'm totally going to teach this one to play dead when I yell, "Bang!"

Now these guys actually look like puppies. . .

Assistant to a Star

2008-04-21T09:56:00.000-07:00

My boss is famous! Check this out from last night's Andy Rooney segment on "60 Minutes". Oh, and for the record, this was forwarded to me from someone else. I don't make it a point to watching Andy Rooney's weekly commentaries or '60 Minutes' in general. Just wanted to clear that up.

Aaron on 60 Minutes

Minute 1:50 - He's the first green shirt on left, and then he's behind the other guy in the green shirt.

Happy Sunday!

2008-04-20T21:47:00.000-07:00

"I'm not quite sure

As to what is going down

But I'm feelin' Hunkey Dory'

Bout this thing that I found [yeah]"

~ Heavy D & The Boyz

It's that time again

2008-04-19T10:53:00.000-07:00

If anyone needs me today, here's where you can find me:

7:30-9:30am ~ my room. I'll be reviewing Immunity
10am-5pm ~ Tigard Library. I'll be learning about the digestive system.
5:30pm ~ L.O. I'll be running like there's no tomorrow getting the heeby-jeebies out of my legs. (anyone know if I spelled that right?)
7pm-whenever I fall asleep ~ my loft. I'll be finishing the Immunity review. Oh, and trying not to go crazy.

If anyone needs me tomorrow morning, well you can find me in a skit in Big Church! That's right people - I've hit the big time. Granted I have 2 lines (which is 2 more than anyone else) and I have to play the straight man, but that's OK. I'll take it!!!

I love The Office!

2008-04-18T13:39:00.000-07:00

These scenes made me scream last night. Twice. Or as my boss puts it: not so much a scream as it probably was a girlish squeal.

Sure fire sign you are in dire need of more sleep than you're getting. . .

2008-04-18T12:33:00.001-07:00

You stare at your hot plate for a full 5 minutes wondering why in the heck the water holding your test tubes aren't boiling when you realize you've turned it on but haven't plugged it in.

But it's all worth it as I maintained my title of "Queen of Cram" this morning.

Seamus - 4 weeks

2008-04-17T11:19:00.000-07:00

4 weeks down. . .4 to go!!!

Firsts

2008-04-17T08:37:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago our group at work decided we should all answer the question, "when was the last time you did something for the first time?" Unfortunately, I couldn't think of a single thing! Which really bummed me out. I'm exciting. I love new things. Well finally I can answer that question. Here are just some of my firsts from last night:

*eating asparagus
*eating butternut squash (in the non-french fry version)
*driving a stick shift vehicle
*off-roading in a hay field within city limits
*caring less about my test on Monday

Seriously

2008-04-15T18:35:00.001-07:00

OK, maybe it's just me, but I was under the impression that libraries were supposed to be quiet.

Then again, maybe I shouldn't expect anything less on Tax Day. seriously people, you knew for a year this day was coming. Why did you decide to wait until 6pm on April 15th to start your taxes??

The Final Countdown

2008-04-14T10:06:00.000-07:00

T-minus 10 days. . .

www.linfield.edu/portland

AWESOME

2008-04-12T13:11:00.000-07:00

Thank you American Idol! Not only for making this your finale on Wednesday but correcting the words and singing it again on Thursday!!

PS David Cook is awesome too.

April's Theme

2008-04-10T10:33:00.000-07:00

You take it on faith, you take it to the heart
The waiting is the hardest part

The mailman needs to send me an 8 1/2 x 11 envelope (actually more than one would be nice), my puppy needs to get bigger, I need pictures from Shanghai, my phone needs to ring and the government needs to wire me money!

The L.O. experience

2008-04-09T09:41:00.000-07:00

Stereotypes are just that - types of stereos. Actually they're an exaggeration of a characteristic that has some basis of truth (no matter how small.) I try my best not to stereotype: like the McMinnville "townies" (because us Linfield kids were just so much better), people in Alabama, even blondes.

I have lived on the other side of the tracks (a track called I-5) from Lake Oswego my entire life. I played against them in sports growing up and even lived there myself for awhile. So I know about the demographics. Heck, you can just drive through, notice all the imported non-Japanese cars and realize people here are wealthier than the other side of I-5. I try not to stereotype but it's really hard when I have experiences like yesterday.

I had some housesitting $$ that I wanted use so I thought it would be fun to get a mani/pedi from my usual L.O. spa. So there I am, in the middle of 2 Lake Oswegites, both who just reinforced stereotypes for me. . .

To my left, a high schooler. Tall, waify, bleach blonde. She was sporting a shirt from a store I hate (hint: the abbreviation has 2 letters and is rediculously expensive and CK cutoff jean shorts that were fraying and had holes (although I'm betting she bought them like that and hasn't actually had them for 2 year.) And on her lap was a "dog". I use quotes because it was under 5 pounds, which doesn't constitute a dog in my dictionary. It was a white fru-fru thing and was ironically named, "Kujo." Ahhhh, how cute. Accessories included a purse that was too small to fit her phone in & a jeweled phone cover.

To my right, a business women. Tall (but that could be due to the 6 inch pumps) in a very nice black suit with a black blouse. She was either on her PDA the entire time or talking on the phone. Apparently her son, Connor, is an excellant lacrosse player and her husband has received many compliments on his coaching abilities from other parents. She also has another son Jack, but from what I gathered, he either doesn't like lacrosse or isn't old enough to play yet. And something needed to be sent to someone the very next morning at work.

And then there's me. Sporting my Gap outlet jeans, hand-me-down Old Navy sweater and size-to-small-but-that's-OK-because-they're-cute-and-the-last-ones-here Target shoes. Luckily the ghetto of Tigard is just a hop, skip & a jump away where I'll be the best dressed chick in the neighborhood!

It really does happen in real life - not just in the movies

2008-04-08T09:43:00.001-07:00

And to top off the evening yesterday, the freaking bag of pretzels (dinner) I bought in the vending machine at 9:15pm after class actually got stuck in the vending machine!!! The little curly-Q wire didn't rotate enough around, thus leaving my dinner hanging from the F0 location.

Seamus - 3 weeks

2008-04-07T10:49:00.002-07:00

Our little Seamus (SHAY-mus) O'Malley (he was born on St. Patrick's Day) is somewhere in this photo. He's 3 weeks old today! 5 more weeks until one of these lucky guys becomes a Worzniak.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY T!!!!!!!

2008-04-07T10:49:00.001-07:00

4 of the 5 Condiment Crew members are now 28!

Seriously guys. . .we need t-shirts. . .

-Lettuce

Well now that's a pleasant thought

2008-04-01T08:28:00.000-07:00

Pardon the melodrama BUT. . .

One piece of mail I will receive in the next 30 days will determine my life for the next 2 years.

Good times!

On a lighter note, check out my new favorite website: www.bustedtees.com

Holy Shnikes!

2008-03-31T21:12:00.000-07:00

And on a unrelated note and complete turn of events I have now decided that I love my A&P teacher and so much is this mutual admiration of each other that I'm going to spend at least one hour each morning with him going over any little question I may have.

(No sarcasm ladies & gentlemen. This is for real. I was actually caught so off guard by my change in opinion, that I spent the entire 10 minutes it takes to walk from class to the computer lab with a red flushed face and muttering nothing else but "Holy Sh*t" over and over and over.)

----------------

I've now been in the computer lab for 14 minutes. My cheeks are still warm (so I'm assuming they're still red), I have no saliva and at least now I've resorted to just muttering "oh my god" over and over.

Treehouse quote of the week

2008-03-31T14:06:00.000-07:00

E-podder: Do you prefer humans or aliens?
Teacher Laura: For what?
E-podder: For anything!

Well, duh!!!

2008-03-16T12:09:00.000-07:00

Entertainment Weekly - the biggest ranker & list-maker of all things entertainment - has just confirmed what I have known my entire life: The Wizard of Oz is the best movie for kids!!!! Please. I could have told you that when I was 4. Or was it 3? I forget just when the obsession began. And yes, it really was an obsession. There was one winter day that I went out to play in the snow in my "Dorothy dress", which wasn't exactly blue & white gingham but more like green courdory with a pocket in the middle of the chest. Yes I had a basket, and a dog and the whole movie on casette tape to which I could - and did - recite the ENTIRE MOVIE. And not just recite, but did I mention I acted the whole thing out too? (I didn't get my sparkling ruby red slippers though until high school.) I feel sorry that my parents had to listen to it every. single. day. But on the other hand, where is a 5-year-old getting her costume, accessories & copy of the movie? That right. Her parents. So you could say that they enabled, fed & encouraged my addiction.

And I'm proud to say that even if I was to sit down & watch it today, I would still cry when Judy Garland sings "Over the Rainbow", and speaks her parting words to the Scarecrow ("I think I'll miss you most of all." Oh! It's even worse than saying good-bye!), remain silent when she steps out of the wind-blown farmhouse into Munchkinland & laugh when Bert Lahr declares himself "King of the Forest" even though he self-admittedly is afraid of everything and has no clue how to be King.

I'll save my Return to Oz obsession for another post. (The original WoZ convinced me there WAS an Oz. RtO convinced me I could actually get there. No wonder my parents were genuinely worried about me.)

THE WIZARD OF OZ (1939) A gingham-sporting Kansas girl is dreamily transported from her home on the range to a Technicolor wonderland, where she befriends a scarecrow, a tin man, and a lion. There, she learns about self-sufficiency, capitalism, and how to kill bad witches. More importantly, hilarious little munchkins abound!

And in conclusion. . .

2008-03-10T08:44:00.000-07:00

. . .I want to live on Lake Oswego when I grow up.

Hey, you spend a warm, sunny day in the backyard (which looks amazing thanks to Juan's visits on Saturdays), lakeside, and run 10 miles around it and then NOT tell me you wouldn't want to live there too.

Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery

2008-03-07T13:42:00.000-08:00

In part 7,309 in our series on: rip-offs of an innovative Nike product but still not quite as good as "ours", I give you MiCoach.

Want the real deal? Head over to www.nikeplus.com

Good Night

2008-03-04T08:30:00.001-08:00

I used to think tuna was the worst smell I could encounter in the morning.

I was wrong.

Fancy Feast cat food is the worst smell I could encounter in the morning. And more specifically: Fancy Beef Feast.

ONCE: Falling Slowly

2008-03-02T18:55:00.001-08:00

The Guy and his guitar.
The Girl and her piano.

If you haven't seen this movie yet, go out and buy it NOW!!! This song is so amazing that it's worth sitting in your car in the garage and listening to it when it comes on the radio after you get home.